I'm an awkward kid.  I know that.  I've even learned to embrace it.  But I normally try to at least keep it a secret from strangers.  I failed at it this week.  And not just any kind of fail, but an epic, awkward, totes inapprops failure.  Here's how it went:

I had just bought some food in the hospital cafeteria and how gone to the 6th floor to buy a Mtn. Dew...they're cheaper to get from the machines than the cafeteria.  There was a housekeeping guy nearby who I smiled at, but didn't really pay much attention to beyond that.  You also should know that I have a bad habit of putting things...cell phone, keys, pens...in my mouth as if it's an extra pocket or something.  Also, I tend to say things that make sense in my head, but come out sounding like sexual innuendos.  This particular evening I was holding a dollar bill in my mouth, gross I know, while I fished the quarter out of my pocket.

Man: "You shouldn't put that dollar in your mouth.  Don't you know how dirty those things are!?!"

Me: "Yeah, I know.  But it's not the worse thing I've put in my mouth."

**Awkward silence as he tries to decide if I'm coming on to him, that much of a whore, or stupid.**

Me: "Um, I mean, I have a bad habit of putting my keys in my mouth so...yeah."

Man just stared at me.  He picked up on my awkwardness, gave me a confident "I'm the king of the world" look, and sauntered away.  Where was the giant hole to swallow me up when I needed it!?!

And this is why I don't usually talk to strangers.

Ever had to have a DTR...with someone you aren't interested in!?!

Unfortunately, I'm about to have to do just that.  I swear I get myself in the weirdest situations.

Because it was so unexpected and super awkward I stupidly gave my cell number to a patient.  It's bad enough that I thought he was 20 years old (far too young for us to be talking about ANYthing), but I realized he's actually 24 and since I look like I'm 23 or 24 I think he thinks this might be something.  Even though he has a girlfriend.  And actually said he'd have to hide my number from her.

WHAT!?!  How do these things happen to me!?!  I don't do drama and somehow found myself right in the middle of it.

I wouldn't think anything about it if I hadn't given him my number on Monday night and by Tuesday night he had called me.  Twice.  One of which was at 9pm.  I wasn't asleep or anything...I was actually out...but you don't call a woman with whom you have no relationship with at 9pm.  And you especially don't call her at 11pm!  Which he did tonight.  Curses.

For someone who hates awkward situations I seem to find myself in quite a few humdingers of colossal awkward.  Oh, I hope he just stops calling me...