Greatest Accomplishments

Like everyone else of my generation, I was told a bachelor's degree is the way to get ahead.  So we all got bachelor degrees.  And I do mean ALL.  So now you need a master's or doctorate degree to stand out.  Or some crazy amounts of talent or rich daddy connections or the luck of the Irish.

I have none of those.

And it sometimes gets me down.  It's easy, especially living in a Christian and Southern culture, to feel bad about yourself if you didn't make the "right" decisions and become a 22 year old Christian Leadership graduate who stepped off the graduation podium directly into the church for a wedding that, within a year, is followed by the birth of the first of numerous children who are all given Biblical names.  If you're like me, an unexpectedly single woman (unexpected because like every girl I just knew I'd find my love in college :P) quickly approaching 30, you've either let yourself go, aren't trying hard enough, are focusing too much on work or ought to give the the idea of marriage and family and devote the rest of your life to being a missionary (all misguided and unwarranted suggestions of why I'm single. And all very FALSE).

But I refuse to accept that.  First, because it's just not true.  Condoleezza Rice is single and look at all that she's accomplished.  Second, I know too many wonderful women who aren't married for this to be true.  Statistically we all couldn't have let ourselves go, only be focusing on careers, not trying hard enough, or ought to be missionaries.  This isn't to say some of these things aren't true.  I know I eat more ice cream than any almost 30 year old woman should.  But that's why I'm not married?  Child please.  Third, though I'll never be a Condie Rice or an Oprah Winfrey or a Marissa Mayer, that's not my purpose in life and I'm okay with that!  Crowds won't ever chant my name, mimic my style, or seek my approval.  But I don't care.  Because I don't need the accolades.  I don't need the notoriety.  Yeah, I'd like to be someone's wife and a couple of little someones mom, but right now I'm called to be three little ones Tia (aunt in Spanish).  And I LOVE it!  Seriously, tell me this isn't the best advertisement of mutual and complete adoration, love, and fun!?!  My camera has tons of these photos in which we come up with random scenarios, react, and snap a photo.  As you'll see in the description, my nephew loves reptiles.

Top L: we were afraid of snakes R: my beautiful nieces
Bottom L: my handsome little man R: running from dinosaurs

I don't care if I never make a million dollars or leave this world having made a global difference.  I've made a difference in three lives.  And those three lives are worth more to me that a million of Beyonce's records.  My mom told me recently that the girls were playing dress up and my 2 yr old niece said she was me.  I cried, which I do a lot.  Baby Girl looks up to me.  No, she's not had a lot of outside exposure in her short little life, but she knows love.  She knows she's cared for and wanted and adored.  And that is one of the most important things I can give to her, her sister, and her brother.

So to my fellow singles (male and female), stand up and be proud!  We aren't any less valuable or important or wanted because we currently aren't wives/husbands or moms/dads.  We're daughters/sons and sisters/brothers and aunts/uncles and friends and co-workers and workout buddies.  We're setting examples and changing lives every day exactly where we are and don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise.

Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, and in purity. I Timothy 4:12

FAMILY!

 

That Dr. Seuss is a smart one.

 

Seriously, though, this perfectly expresses something I've been feeling lately.  I ADORE my family.  There are times that we talk several times a week.  Other times it's just once a week.  But we keep in constant communication between emails, texts, calls, and Skype.  But even still it's not the same as being with them, being involved with the everyday of each other's lives, living life together.

 

But in His infinite wisdom and love, God gave me an amazing group of people who, in their own ways, fill that void of knowing and being known.  When I sit and think about it, I'm not completely sure what keeps us together.  Some are musical, others are better with tools, some are better with logistics, still another with encouragement.  We don't have the same dreams, goals, or plans.  Our pasts are varied and our insecurities are many.  We have different opinions on politics.

 

But I love them.  And they love me.

 

It's easy to throw around the word "love" without really understand it's meaning.  Especially among friends.  But I truly love these people with my whole heart.  I miss them when they aren't around.  I pray for them, for their days, their jobs, their appointments.  I know their likes and dislikes.  I know their hurts and fears.  But what speaks to my heart the most is knowing acceptance when I'm with them.

 

When my fear causes me to withdraw, I get a sweet message.  Not pressuring or yelling, but gently reminding me to trust them.  When I'm in a bad mood, I get called out, but then encouraged to find the root of my attitude.  I get sound advice.  I've had lots of groups of friends that I've cared for, but never really felt completely comfortable around.  A lot of that has had to do with my reticence to be open and vulnerable and was no fault of anyone else's other than my own.  But I feel like I've finally gotten to the place of being willing to share my burdens with others, to walk alongside them and help carry theirs, to be a part of something bigger, something more.

 

I've found those whose weirdness is compatible to mine.  And it's wonderful and scary and just about the best thing ever!

Too Fast!!!

I'm still not sure it happened.  Or when.  But from what I've been told, my little pal here started Kindergarten Monday.  And I might have been 1400 miles away from him.  And still cried.

I vividly remember when and where I was when my brother called to say my SIL was pregnant.  I remember the changed plans and unneeded trip to Fayetteville because we were sure this was the night (it wasn't!).

And I remember actually holding him for the first time.

I don't know about romantic love at first sight, but I do know about aunt/nephew love at first sight. I love both of my nieces and my nephew unconditionally and without question, but this boy and I will always have a special bond.  He is my first nephew.  From the moment we met there was mutual adoration.  He's the first person who has ever actually jumped and clapped from excitement when he sees me.

He has my heart.

And he's growing up.  And it's super scary.  I've heard having kids is like taking your heart out and having it walk around while giving others the ability to hurt it.  I'm not even his parent, but I can relate to that.  I worry about this kid.  I pray for this kid.  I adore this kid.  And I'm super proud of this kid.  I can't imagine my life without him in it.  I love him with a fierceness I didn't even know was possible.

And now that I miss him all over again, I'm gonna go Skype my favorite Kindergartener and find out how his week is going!

Love Covers All

This week has been rough.  Professionally and personally things have been cray and it's left me very hurt and angry.  Like I'm not sure who I can or should trust.  It's this same feeling that causes me to pull back from people because just as I think I can trust someone something happens that leaves me hurting, insecure, and confused.

But I also realize I'm capable of causing that same kind of hurt to others.

And just as I need and desire their forgiveness, I'm choosing to do the same.  It's quite unintuitive.  My feelings call out for revenge and recompense.  But I know that's not right by any stretch of the imagination.  So I'm choosing to walk in forgiveness and not let these feelings take over.  I'm choosing to acknowledge the hurt and pain so that I don't do the same to another.  I'm choosing to love because I can see their actions, though ugly, stem from hurt and insecurity.

Let the past sleep, but let it sleep on the bosom of Christ. Leave the Irreparable Past in His hands, and step out into the Irresistible Future with Him. -Oswald Chambers

Amendment to the NC State Constitution

I'm of the opinion that you just don't talk politics, money, or religion with people.  In my experience it never ends well.  Okay, maybe I don't actually write off entire institutions because of a few bad conversations, but I'm very particular who, when, and where I discuss these topics.  That said, I won't be discussing them here either.  There are far too many people who are paid much more than I who do it so much better.

But I will encourage you,, if you're a registered voter in NC (which everyone should be!), to read both sides of the argument of "Amendment One" or "The Marriage Amendment" as it's been called both.  Voters will see the following on the ballot come May 8th:

"Marriage between one man and one woman is the only domestic legal union that shall be valid or recognized in this State. This section does not prohibit a private party from entering into contracts with another private party; nor does this section prohibit courts from adjudicating the rights of private parties pursuant to such contracts."

Voters will then get to choose whether they are "for" or "against" said change.

Again, I will not suggest what side you should vote for.  I could, but I personally don't like hearing/seeing my friends preferences online when I can't ask them questions so I won't be following that trend.  I've even tried to flesh this out here and my opinion is quite obvious so I deleted it.  I'll willingly, in a non-confrontational manner, discuss this and why I plan to vote the way I will, but I prefer to do this in person versus online.  But most importantly I want everyone, especially my Christian friends, to pray and vote based on what God is speaking to your heart not based on what you feel the church expects, what your pastoral staff says, what your political party wants, what your friends are doing, etc.

Here are several resources, for and against, this change.  Please educate yourself and vote.

These are links in support of the change: Vote For Marriage and NC Values Coalition


These are links in opposition the change: Vote Against and Protect All NC Families

And please don't read anything into the order that I put the for or against links.  Something had to come first and something had to come second!

Additionally, here's the link to the NC Board of Elections page that will give you all the info you need on voting locations, hours, and dates for early voting.

So, please, get out there and vote!

Before I get back to my randomness of the last post, I wanted to put these pictures up.  These are women I met in college and we were pretty inseparable for quite a while.  Friendships ebb and flow, but I was reminded this weekend, the weekend of Ashley's wedding, how much I will always love these women.  I have loved them since they uninvitedly marched into my dorm room second semester of freshman year, while I was in nothing but a towel no less, and made me one of their own.  We are 8 years, 3 states, 2 marriages, and 3 children beyond this first photo, but I still and will always love them.  Congratulations Ashley and Jeff!

December 2003

May 2011