I feel like such a bad blogger because it's usually so long between posts.  In actuality, I have several different drafts saved, but if I don't feel inspired with my writing they just stay saved and never published.  Maybe one of these days I'll get around to finishing some of them :P

I was reading this blog today by my friend Lori.  (Sweet girl who pretty much keeps me laughing whenever I'm around her with her randomness.)  Anyway, I was challenged by her honesty and transparency in her post about how we're all like leftovers...yes, as in food.  I thought it was a brilliant analogy, but that might be due to my erratic thought process that swings from food to relationships to theology and back to food in a matter of minutes.  But like I said, I liked her openness.

I tend to be a people pleaser.  I don't like to know peoople are upset with me.  In my head I know I can't please everyone, but it's hard for my heart to accept that.  Most often, I wrap myself in an armor of bravado in hopes it comes across as actual courage when in actuality I'm racked with insecurity and fear.  I give the opinions of others far too much freedom in my life, my thoughts.  So much so, I'll sometimes do or not do something because of what someone has said.  It's sad really.  I know it, I just can't seem to break from it.  And I see it in lots of areas of my life...my clothes, my music, my hair, my decorating...it's all middle of the line and blah.  Trying to maintain what I think is status quo sucks.

And it's a stressful life.

Trying to not fail and please everyone wears you out.  One, because failure is apart of life.  We aren't born perfect nor do we ever attain perfection so at some point we will fail.  Trying to stave off the inevitable is just a lot of unnecessary work.  Two, it's often through failure and tough times we learn and grow the most.

I'm reminded of something I once heard about Robert Kiyosaki, author of Rich Dad, Poor Dad.  Kiyosaki has said if it wasn't for having declared bankruptcy TWICE he'd never have made it as far as he has.  Regardless of what anyone thinks about his books or philosophy, the man retired at 47 years old.  Um, winning.  It was his failures that taught him best how to run and not run a business.  Yet the thought of failing, especially publicly, shakes me to my core.  But on the other hand I really want the freedom to tell people to keep it to themselves.  Just because you think that's the best way to handle something doesn't give you the right to talk to me about it as if that's the only way to deal with a situation.

Is there a way to say that nicely?