Last month I went into a patient's room for some random reason and saw she had a book titled "This I Believe: The Personal Philosophies of Remarkable Men and Women" sitting on her table.  It looked interesting so I snapped a picture of the book front (make no mistake...I took a picture of the book not the patient...no HIPPA violations here!) and borrowed it from the library.  It's been an amazing read!  The book is based on a NPR radio series that originally aired in 1950.  It's a collection of short essays from people you've heard of to some you'll never hear of, but amazing all.  Each person was asked to think about and explain what they believe, what has brought them to their current personal beliefs in life.  The essayists are extremely diverse in their beliefs, but what I adore is that they don't just write about religious beliefs or laws or whatever.  Their writings "reveal the American spirit."  They believe in love, family, pride, adoption, God, the lack of God, equality.  It humbles me as I catch these glimpses into the lives of others and hear their stories and the experiences that have led them to their current beliefs.

I'm still in the midst of the book, but it, as well as the fact that I'm just days into a new year, naturally led me to consider this for myself.  Not in a religious beliefs sort of way because I'm firmly planted in my Christian faith, but as I see what other people stand for/believe in/represent to others it made me question my life.  Added to that, I was watching tv and one character called another a "side part and curl under" kinda girl.  She was referring to those women whose hair is parted on the side and curled under because they just want to get by without much attention or making waves in life.  They're too afraid to take a risk...so afraid they won't even take risks to stand out with something as menial as hair.  (I write this blog for myself, but I realize others read it as well.  Which is why I feel the need to clarify something here for the readers who aren't African American (AA) women.  I'm well aware that hair is definitely more important than "menial" to women...especially AA women.  Books and songs and essays have been written, and much better than I shall ever do, on the topic of hair and the AA woman.  However, that isn't the point at the moment and as such hair is being labeled "menial" for the purpose of the bigger picture.)

And so I wonder.  In what ways have I kept the status quo simply for the sake of not making others uncomfortable?  Or putting myself in a place that makes me nervous or fearful?  What do I believe?  In what areas am I a "side part and curl under" girl?  Because I know I am literally and figuratively.

Maybe it's simply the newness of the year, but I can't help but be excited about 2011.  I truly feel like God has a huge things planned for me.  Already I've been faced with some huge future decisions that may come to fruition in the next few months and I'm way excited about it!  Change isn't always easy or fun.  No doubt I will be required to give up some things and some people that I love, but I don't want to forever be a "side part and curl under" kinda person.  I want to explore and live and discover.  I want to see and know what's out there.  I want to experience and fully embrace what He has in store for me.

I want to know what I believe.