"It is a peculiar sensation, this double-consciousness, this sense of always looking at one's self through the eyes of others, of measuring one's soul by the tape of a world that looks on in amused contempt and pity. One ever feels his two-ness, -an American, a Negro; two souls, two thoughts, two unreconciled strivings; two warring ideals in one dark body, whose dogged strength alone keeps it from being torn asunder."

-W.E.B. Du Bois, The Souls of Black Folks

I understand what Mr. Du Bois is talking about. I feel that I'm constantly pulled in a million different ways. There is a constant battle of what being black is and who I am, others perceptions of me as myself and then because I'm black, and my perceptions of others. And then my ultimate struggle lies in the knowledge that my perceptions aren't always Christ-like. How can I be a good or even decent Christian with these perceptions?

And by perceptions I mean prejudices.

I'm wary of large black men who, by my estimation, don't look like they have any goals or a job. I tend to think worse of black women who don't have "good" hair. I get disgusted with grossly overweight people. I tend to feel more comfortable around lighter skinned black people or those who seem to be more like me. I don't like "ghetto" black people, ghetto by my definition, and how I think their actions reflect on all black people. And I wonder how others perceive all blacks based on the actions of a few.

I'm feeling very hypocritical and exposed. I think I'll go ahead and call it a day...