I sometimes feel like a vagabond. By it's definition, a vagabond is "an itinerant person." Historically, the term was derived from the Latin meaning "purposeless wandering." My personal favorite definition, however, stems from Arthur Rickett's 19th century defintion in his book aptly titled "The Vagabond in Literature." Rickett defined a vagabond as one "born with a vagrant strain in the blood, an unsatiable inquisitiveness about the world beyond their doors."

That's how I feel. I have an unsatiable desire to do, to be, to know. I'm not sure quite what stokes that fire however. Sometimes, it feels as if life is like running on a treadmill. You keep running and running, but you stay in the same place. I want to go, to see, to be. It's not just some desire to be popular or rich. I want to fully live, experience. It's in my blood. It's as if every single movement is urging me to go further, do more.

But I'm not sure how to respond.

So, I find myself in a mediocre job, doing mindless work, at the typical 8-5 Monday through Friday office, punching the clock for "the man."

And I'm about to lose it.

I was recently talking to a friend and we were both saying how we feel God urging us to live radical lives, but fears have kept us from doing what we feel. Although it was great to know I wasn't the only person feeling that way, I knew I had to make a decision based on me and God and no one else. After that conversation I came to the conclusion that living without family, friends, things, and earthly comforts, but in an amazingly wonderful relationship with God was worth any and all sacrifices I would have to make.

Yet here I am in the same place...poised to go, although I don't know where, but with no plan. Hating the monotony, but not having the know how to change the situation.

But even in this barren place, I know He is here. I can't see Him, but I know. As surely as I know the voice of my mother, I know His thoughts are about me. His arms are around me. Nothing happens outside of His control and knowledge. He is here, even in this.

May this "unsatiable inquisitiveness about the world beyond my doors" lead me to the cross. And not just lead me there so that I can get my spiritual boost, but may I be there to support and hold the hands of others who also need answers to their heart questions.

The sacrifice you want is a broken spirit. A broken and repentant heart, O God, you will not despise. Psalm 51:17