It never ceases to amaze me how it feels like I just posted when in actuality it's been a month. Time flies when you're having fun, right!?! Eh, I'll go with it.
I've had lots of different things rolling around in my head of late. It sometimes seems like nothing and everything in particular. But this time it was and blog worthy. Well, in my estimation anyway :)
I had a chat with a co-worker about a month ago. I adore T! Her attitude, her work ethic, how she treats others...you can just tell that she's a great person. So I was excited to learn that she was a Christian as well because one thing I've always wanted was a work mentor, but so many people are all about the money or stepping on others to get what you want. T isn't like that was I was super excited to FINALLY have someone I can talk to, vent to, model myself after. Anyway, as much as I love love love my job, there was a period of it being ridiculously stressful. S and I job share the admin position (I work mornings and she does afternoons) and then I do special projects and other stuff the rest of the day. When I interviewed and was hired I knew this would be the way things are, but I needed a job so bad I didn't care if it was part time. But then they needed me full time. So for two months I covered it all myself and then suddenly I was having to share what I had been doing alone. It was a very difficult transition for me. Made even more so by another person trying to be all involved when they weren't at all.
Stressed didn't even begin to describe what I was feeling. I felt that my job was in jeopardy. I was working so hard to try to be the best and not get forgotten in the newness of S. And I was competitive. Like whoa. I didn't want anyone to like her more than they liked me so I was finding all sorts of public things to do that would make people realize how vital and needed I was. And S was doing the same. It was bad.
But by the grace of God, T stepped in. We sat down to talk about some work stuff one day and the conversation flowed to what she was noticing. She saw how extra person was all up in our, mine and S's, business, she saw S and I both working hard to out do each other and the strain it was putting on me. Side note: it sometimes takes me a while to process my thoughts and feelings. I can recognize what I'm feeling, but I need time to dig through it all to figure out the root of it and how to deal with it. That said, even though I was stressed out I was so busy trying to stay ahead that I wasn't taking the time to process what was driving those feelings. T was able to express what she was seeing and what was concerning her and it perfectly described what I was feeling, but unable to verbalize. Long story short, after talking with T, I was able to go to S, who is also a Christian, and apologize for my behavior. She had been feeling much the same way that I had and we were able to find an amazing balance. Since then S and I have experienced a level of honesty and vulnerability that I've shared in very few relationships. It's been wonderful! That's not to say we don't get on each other's nerves, but I literally thank God quite often for bringing T and S into my life.
It's late. More tomorrow...
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