Of late, I've been thinking on direction, ambition, purpose, fulfillment and other such weighty topics a lot.  Not that I've come to any conclusions on ANYTHING, but I've been thinking.

And then I came across this verse this afternoon.

"For I have a great sense of obligation to people in our culture and to people in other cultures, to the educated and uneducated alike.  So I am eager to come to you in Rome, too, to preach God's Good News." Romans 1:14-15

It challenged and saddened me.  Unlike Paul, I don't have this passionate hunger for anything...not even Jesus.  Without question I love the Lord and strive to honor Him with my life.  But do I have a sense of obligation and am I eager to share Him with others?  Am I eager to go to work?  Is there an attitude of intentionality of making Him known and serving others when I get there?  Not so much.

Again, no answers, but I'm wondering what needs to change and how to go about making said changes in order to get my heart and life to a place of eagerness...in life, in relationships, in sharing Him.  I've lost my zeal.  Like many others, I graduated college with big plans and decisive opinions.  Thankfully, some of those ideas were politely squelched, others not so politely.  But in being tempered and growing in experience and wisdom, it seems I've lost the fire.

But there is hope.  If Paul can be imprisoned, beaten, starved, shipwrecked, bitten by a snake, and the many other calamities weren't recorded but I know he had to have endured and still have fight in him, I'm sure I can find it in myself.

So here's to mistakes, fears, and failures.  May they always keep me close to His side and not deter me from living the life I was created to live.  Amen and amen!